For over a year I watched him. He laughed as he rubbed his watermelon belly. He winced in pain and laughed again. "No seriously Kat I can't quit drinking to save my life"
I did not understand, he did not drink for fifteen years, he is stronger now, has Jesus. But it was true. His liver had failed him after fifteen years of no drugs and fifteen years of no alcohol. And him in pain and getting wore yet I didn't know how much worse until it was too late.
He wanted to take me to lunch, ride our hogs to the beach and just hang out, he wanted crab. Me turn down crab? NOT likely. Especially when he was buying. So we did, we took off down 101 and headed south to Pismo Beach, we found the Crab Shack. A popular eatin place that serves a bucket full of crab legs, potatoes, and corn on the cob. Three different kinds of crab mind you and they just dump it out right there on the table. Should we have a bottle of wine? He asked me not mentioning again the desease which would soon kill him.
Well lil brother red wine is suposed to be full of anti oxidants, sounds good.
We really enjoyed that meal, he flurting with the waitress twenty years younger then him. He made me laugh and forget about how round and full his belly was. The last supper is how I will remember it. Yes the last supper.
After a full bottle of wine and gourging ourselves on rich food we walked back to our rides and he told me the truth.
He was into the last stage of liver disease, he had to quit drinking or die. I was scared but rational. If this is true, you know what to do. He said it again with a pained pleading look, 'I can't quit to save my life"
This made me mad, angry I felt selfish because I drank the wine with him, not telling him no, not saying stop.
We left and rode our Harleys to Morrro Bay, a night cap looking at the sunset from Rose's Landing, He ordered Vodka, Kettle one. I did the same. I said this is the last one and we go home and quit. I will help you. After two more I threatened the bartender and told him not to give my brother anymore Vodka. Mike ordered Tequllia. I had enough.
I am leaving I cant watch you die. He said one more. NO! I am going to go to the beach and camp.
He wanted to ride back to north county. We argued, it is too cold over there I am staying here at the beach. He wanted a sleeping pill. He wanted me to stop his pain .......I think that was his last day.
After that day he stopped drinking. After that day he started calling me more, after that day I took him to the hospital and watched him flurt with nurses while they stabbed his side to drain the bile that his liver would not. After that day we were closer. After that day he didn't drink any more but he couldn't ride either. After that day he went to Stanford. han he went again.
He went fast and he went hard. But he felt the love of his sister before he went. The love that was quiet for so long. He went.
AND now he feels no more pain.
